File #: ADF-10
Danger Class: Perfidia
Obscurity Class: Octa
Current Whereabouts: Confined to Schenkenberg Castle in Switzerland after requesting a place to be confined to, though I've seen it move outside despite my instructing it to stay at the Castle. It appears to yell at the sky, I don't know why.
Description:
ADF-10, commonly known in my neighborhood now as 'The Beholder', is a biblically accurate angel. When it appeared, the clouds opened as it slowly descended to my middle-class suburban home, I shit my pants. It sort of floated around my neighborhood for about a week. The police and local army tried responding, but every time someone tried to harm it, they just… exploded. I mean, hell, one time a 4-year-old kid tried to punch it and well… I'm in therapy now.
last recorded image of 4-year-old [DATA EXPUNGED] before he exploded.
ADF-10 is recorded at about 10m tall, usually, though he has been observed to be as small as 2in at some points, and consists of multiple parts, most of which defy the laws of physics.
The center of ADF-10 is a large eyeball with a noticeable lack of optical nerves. Surrounding this eye are 2 rotating golden rings with holes in a line-like formation. Eyes will sometimes appear in the holes of ADF-10's rings, as well as other things, including but not limited to:
- Hands
- Mouths
- Food or Beverages
- Toys
- Pictures of loved ones
- Hair
- A gold-lined condom
- A copy of my left testicle
Furthermore, in place where the optical nerves should be, ADF-10 has 8 white, feathered wings connected to the back of this eye, though despite this, the central eyeball can move without the wings shifting position.
ADF-10's shown to be a real smarty pants. I played chess with it and lost in 1 move! While partly because it instantly removed all my pieces from what I assume is reality, yeah. I also had it take an IQ test, and the people called and said I cheated because the score was past 9,000 IQ, so yeah.
After my great analysis, pretty damn sure that's god, or a god.
A feather that fell off of ADF-10's Bottom Left wing recorded at ~30 inches.
Approximately 30 minutes later, it exploded, also blowing my Honda Civic's door off.
Interviewed: ADF-10
Interviewer: Me
Foreword: ADF-10 was interviewed by me on ██/██/████ before it was sent to Schenkenberg Castle.
<Begin Log>
Me: So, why do you not care about your duties anymore?
ADF-10: S̵a̶m̶e̶ ̵T̸h̷i̵n̶g̸.̵ ̴O̷v̵e̶r̶.̴ ̵A̶n̵d̶.̶ ̶O̴v̸e̷r̸.̵ ̸A̴g̸a̷i̴n̴.̸
Me: You find it boring? Interesting… what are the extents of your power?
ADF-10: T̵h̵e̷ ̶I̷m̸a̶g̸i̶n̸a̷t̴i̵o̴n̵.̵
-I scribble down a drawing of a mushroom on my clipboard before sliding a copy of the bible to ADF-10.-
Me: Are you aware of this?
ADF-10: T̵h̴a̵t̵ ̶i̶s̶.̵.̵.̵ ̷u̵s̸.̷ ̶H̸e̸a̴v̴e̴n̵.̸ ̷H̷e̴l̵l̸.̴
Me: Oh, well, it looks like I must change my pants again, they're stained brown. Goodbye.
ADF-10: G̷o̸o̵d̷b̸y̸e̴.̴ ̶M̶a̶y̷ ̵w̶e̶ ̴m̵e̸e̶t̷ ̸a̵g̴a̵i̶n̷.̷
-I exit the room, once again crapping my pants.-
<End Log>
Closing Statement: I then instructed it to a castle not far from here, Schenkenberg Castle. It willingly went, and now I have game nights every Saturday.
I played Uno with it. I remember a slight bit of it.
I started, and was absolutely cooking god. Eventually, about 15 minutes in, my entire hand swapped to red 1s. The color was blue. I told him he was cheating in which he denied, and then stacked 15 +4's in a row. How? There aren't even that many +4s in the deck. God's a cheater.
I lost.
So my neighbors think he's gonna end the world, and instead of being scared, they uhh, started worshiping him? I mean, literally, they looked at this bible verse:
"But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare."
And started bowing and throat singing to him. I need even more therapy now.
COLLECTION ATTEMPT LOG
DATE: ██/██/████
NOTE: COLLECTION ATTEMPTS ARE PROHIBITED ON ADF-10 AFTER THIS INCIDENT
[BEGIN LOG]
10:42: ADR Collection Team arrives at the neighborhood
10:47: ADR Collection Team finds ADF-10
10:48: The clouds part way.
10:51: ADR Collection Team begins trying to trap ADF-10
10:52: A beam of light ~10m wide rains from the heavens, instantly vaporizing the entire team.
10:53: There is now a hole with no bottom in the middle of the road.
10:58: Everything destroyed that wasn't the Collection Team fills back in, including the hole.
[END LOG]
Location: Schenkenber Hill
Fatalities: 0
I took ADF-10 to Schenkenber Hill.
ADF-10 sighed, and the hill disappeared.
ADF-10 asked if it could go home now because it deleted the hill.
I explained that ADF-10 was stupid and supposed to live at the castle there.
ADF-10 panicked, and the hill reappeared before he quickly moved to Schenkenber Castle and manifested 28 Waving Hands out of his rings.
I waved back, got in my car, and shit my pants again.
Remind me to never show ADF-10 movies.
I showed it 'Despicable Me' and when it saw them steal the Moon, in typical omnipotent fashion, it stole the Moon in the exact same way and handed it to me.
That is how I got into an argument with god about the importance of the Moon, luckily it was daytime, so no one really noticed the lack of a Moon for a hot second, but seriously.
Y̸̮͎̤͛̿͝O̵̮͆̈U̴̩̬͎͐ ̸̫̜̬̃̓Ḿ̴͇̫̎A̴̺̦͒̏͐Ý̸̨̹̥ ̸̳̺͕͋̅̉N̵͙̬̳̑̽O̴̢̧̝̎̄͝T̴̝́̏͌ ̴̧̮̫̆́Ŝ̸̭̞͘E̷̗̓̒͝E̷̜̦͔̐͆̕ ̵̧̫̣̌̍͘Ṱ̶͒̏́Ḫ̴̩̊́͜I̴̗͌̏S̴̨̺̞̔̀
S̵͍̀̈̒͊͛̃̈́̕ͅT̶̫̪̱̲̆͒͑̈́̈͋͐͘O̷̧̿̽̌͜P̴̩̤̼͕̐̍͐̉̅̋̌ ̸̘̪̎͑̀̇L̶̼͕͈̤̩̈́̆̄̒̊͑͋͐ͅŐ̷̮͍̅̔Ơ̷̦̰̏̐̔̾̕͝͝K̷͖̾̅͌͑͋̽Ḯ̸̛͎̭͕̯̥̲̂́̃͜N̵̡̝̻̦͕͔͇̓̈̀̆͜Ĝ̸̛̫̯̘̹̔ͅ ̵̲̺̝͇̔̉̍̈́͊̋F̶̞̬͈̭̩̜͋̈́̍̅͑Ỏ̶̡̯̮̟̰͙͘̚R̶̯̘͖̻̜͇̩͍̓ ̵̡͚͍̹̺͌͛̊̔̃͠A̸̘̺̱̳̯̝̞͒̅̽̔͑̆́̓N̶͚̘̲̺͋̿͐̿͠͠Ṣ̵̳̟̙̺̦̺̑ͅW̴͔̻̪͙̐E̸̠͚̭̓̆̆R̸̰͕͓͌̂̑̓͘S̸̞̰̜̈́͝
̸̧̘͈̾̍̒̈́̔͘̕̚ͅ
L̷̛͉͙͍̖̱̬͌̈̎E̷̡̧̞̥̾̏̕Ṯ̴͈̺̻͝ ̶͈͓͔̝͆M̵̬̱̃̃́E̶͙͕̔ ̷̨̺͚̿̑̈́B̸̨̭̥̼͎̖͉̤̑̆͋̀̈̔͝Ę̸̹̝̩̠̜̪̈́ͅ
̸̭̔̎̄̕Ŝ̸̡̟̱̰T̶̢̡̤̫͚͛̀́̈́̅͛͜Ǒ̶̟P̵̢̨͔͈͛͑͌̔́ ̸͓̍̔͋Ï̴̡̨̝͉̰̓Ṱ̴́͊̐̀͛̄
̸̭̔̎̄̕S̶̢̨̤̤̙̣̪̱̭͚͕̖̖̟̪̊̃͊͊̋̆̄̒̈́̀̏̈̐̌͌̆͂̀̀͒̈́̕̚͝͠T̴̢̢̧̨̨̛̛͈̼̩̥̥̘͕̖͈̹͕͕̱̜͉͚̗̻͚̘̠̟̞̩͇̤̭͖͔͇̫͍͇̥͍͖̩̩͉̯̟̍̉̿̐̄̒͆̓̀̎̿̅̀͑̆̽̿̀̒͗̃̂̈́̉̏̐͛̒̎̃̎̒̄̈́̒̀́̚͜͜͝͝͠͝ͅÔ̵̧̧̨̧͍̟̥̬̟͚̦̺̪͔̣̭̖͓̹͙͓͕͓̜̼̩̗̰̳͔̺̪͙͍̫̻͇͗͂̈̍̃͝ͅͅP̶̛̳̝̺͕͔̫̙̲̒̒̊̄͋̃̋̽͌͂̽͌̈̏͊͐͒͛̍͂̏̊̆̀̚͠͠͝ͅ ̵̧̨̢̡̢̡̠̹̳͔̙̣̰͎̱̩͔͖͕͓͍̜̦͕̭̬̯̙̖̻̜̭͙̫̘͓͎̣̯̦͖̣̰̯̗̋͑̏͛̏̿̔̄͐̈́̈́̇̈́̔̆͌̀̃̉̓̿̄͜͜͜S̵̨̨̧̮̭̺̳̦͚̹͓͔͚̼̯̻͎̞̣̪̙̜͈̘̲̖͍̮̟͖͈̣̩̠̳̙̙̬̥̗̪͓͈̖̀̽͜ͅŢ̸̨̢͍͍̭͓͈͕̺̙̙͕̭͔͔̂͗̋̑͂̉̈͂̈́̄̉͊̆͋͗͛͐̓́͘̕͜͝O̸̹̩̿̔̐̾̎̌͒͂̈̋̈́͂̅̏̈́̏̽̔̋̋̆̆͗̎̆̇̎̚͘͝͠͝P̵̡̡̧̨̡̛̺̺͔͍͔͚̪͕̰̼͉̭̣̦͓̙̟͈̠͍̼͓̠̰̖̹͔͇̦̫̠̞̟̲̹̙͖̼̤̺̥̾͆͛̀͂͋͂̓̅̄̈́͋̍̑͑̂̆̏͒̈́͂͆͐̒̅̀̕͘̕͘͝͝͠ͅ ̴̡̢̫̫̞̣̜̘͖͈͒̾̋͐̏͌̍̓̀͗͒͐̑͊̈́͛̓͑̈̔̈́̎̒̀̿́̓̂̃͆̊͂͗̑̀͂́̆̚͝Ș̶̨̨̟̱̗̝͖͓̪̹̭̻̰̼̲̫͛͋̆́̂̌̐̽̌͐̾̀͒̌̂̋̄͌̅̆̓̐̚͝Ţ̷̡̛̝̳͎̱̲͉̟̦̀̅̿̽͐̓͌́͒̏̀̇̈͒̏͑͌̆͋̇̎͛̅̎̈́̚̚ͅͅͅǪ̵̧̛̛̯̺̮͙̹͓̦̲̤̗̩̺̘̦͇̳̘̬͉̖̭̾͒͒̋̆̒͆̀̑͛͊̏̂̐̃̃͊͌͛͂̐̐͛̐̄̂̈̿̅̓̌̍̃̕͝͝͝ͅͅͅP̶̡̨̡̡̢̹̲̖͙̬͓̩͊͋̃͐ͅ ̴̡̡̧̛̛͇̗̟̫̮̮̥̮͚̜̝͖̬͉̮̰̜̼̝̩̱̻̱̫͉̝̥͓̩͙̦̫̯̮̭̖̱̙̰͉̭̊͛͗̈́̽̾͗̂͑́̃̀̒̏̑̇͋̓̽̎̾̈̏̚̚͜͝͝͠͠͝ͅͅͅS̵̡̡̛̛̯̥͖̜̳̼̥̦̠̗̳͕̹̮̱̠̘̳̪̰̭̦̣̬̥̘̤̹̪̔̓̀͊̊̔̂̈́̾̄͐̿͋̈́͊̋̂͗͗͐̏̓̅̄͊͛̀̿̅͆͛̒̔͛̃͆̌̚̕͜͜͜͜͝͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅṬ̷͒͐̀̏͆̓̂̾̃̊͒̂͆̎̈́̋͆͌͛̔̿̅͒̓̚͘̕͘͘͠͝Ơ̷̰͈͔̫͈̘͉͇̘̫̻̹͛͋̔̾̓͒̍͂̈́̕͜Ṕ̸̛̹͒͆͆̄̓̊̑̌́͆͊̏͆̐̃̒͆̋̆̉̃̑́̒͛̅͑̔͂̒̔̕͝͝͝͝ ̴̢̛̛̤̠̮̮̞̤͇̰̜̗̹̹̫̻̻̩̞̦̬̰̘̲̞̪̫̹̱͉͚̞̈́͌͊̐̽̄̈́̅͂͂̄̈́̆̈͛͂̀̉̿́͛̆͊́̍̐́̾̋̿͋̈́̀͘͝͠͠ͅͅS̴̢̧̨͈̦̖̠͎͔͔̞̭̯̮̝̬͈̥̖̯̲̩̠͙̜͙̬̲͈̬̘̜͈͖̰̼̣̮̟̫̘̠͉̑̍̽͗͠ͅT̵̨̨̛̛̛͉͈͔̦̥̞̹̮̹̯̮͈͙̲̖̏̓̄͌́̇̈͛͒̈́̓͗̍͌͊̐̍̏̑̀̑͒̉́̋̃̾͋̂͐͌̊̃̉̽͛̚̕͘̚͘̕͘͠ͅỎ̵̧̳̲̦̻͙̞͍͈̤̯͓̝̥͕͇̜̈́͂̑̎͊͋͗̌̌̌̂͊͐̓̓̿̽̀͊̒͒̃̈̿̅̆̽̑̿́̃̒͌̓͗̌͋͗̆̆̚̕͜͠P̴̳̦̯̩͎̦̺͎̭͇̝̪̅̈́͑͌͛͂̀̐̄͑͂̚͜͝͝
I̸ ̴C̵A̸N̵ ̸S̶E̷E̸ ̶Y̵O̵U̵ ̷T̴H̵R̶O̶U̵G̴H̸ ̶T̴H̷I̴S̴ ̸P̴A̸G̶E̶.̶ ̶Y̷O̸U̵ ̴A̵R̶E̸ ̷N̸O̴T̷ ̸S̵A̸F̷E̵.̷ ̸Y̷O̵U̶ ̴A̶R̶E̷ ̷N̴O̵T̵ ̵P̶R̸I̷V̴A̸T̶E̵.̵
S̵I̴L̵L̷Y̶ ̴H̴U̷M̶A̵N̴S̸ ̷T̵H̵I̴N̸K̸ ̵Y̸O̷U̸ ̸C̷A̸N̷ ̸U̴N̶D̸E̷R̵S̷T̴A̴N̶D̶ ̴E̶V̴E̷R̵Y̶T̷H̸I̷N̷G̵?̴ ̵
S̷O̴M̸E̴ ̸T̴H̴I̷N̸G̸S̶ ̵S̷H̷O̸U̸L̴D̸N̶'̶T̶ ̷B̵E̴ ̵M̶E̸S̴S̴E̴D̶ ̸W̴I̷T̶H̷.̶ ̷
T̶H̴A̵T̵ ̴B̸O̵O̷K̵ ̸O̷F̸ ̶Y̵O̷U̶R̴S̴ ̷W̸I̶L̴L̵ ̵C̸O̷M̵E̶ ̴T̵O̶ ̶L̷I̷F̴E̶ ̶
I̸F̵ ̶Y̷O̸U̴ ̵T̴R̷Y̷ ̸M̵O̷R̷E̶ ̶O̶F̶ ̵T̷H̵I̶S̶ ̶B̸U̸L̸L̶S̷H̴I̷T̷.̴
